Posted in Uncategorized

comparison

It has been said that “comparison is the thief of joy.” (Theodore Roosevelt). This holds true even more so today than when it was first spoken. Social media, the evil that it can be, has turned comparison into an art form.  Where else can you spend hours scrolling through the curated lives of friends, family and strangers? Just take a glance at your Facebook or Instagram feed. Did you know that there are even people on Instagram that are called “influencers?” I’m not sure what the qualifications are for such a title, but think about what that means for you. Are you allowing strangers or even friends to dictate what your values are? Are you changing yourself to keep up with others? Are you feeling depressed or resentful after spending time on Facebook or Instagram?

If so, perhaps it’s time for some detox. First of all, let me be the one to tell you that you are valuable just the way you are. Today. What you bring to the world is far more important than what you look like.

Secondly, once you have embraced that concept, it’s time for a social media cleansing. There might be people in your Instagram feed who inspire you to be a better version of you. This is where things can get dicey. I follow some inspirational people on Instagram and I often learn a great deal from them. However, these people are telling you things and showing up on Instagram in a way that benefits THEM. Read that again. Yes, your favorite inspo on Instagram is most likely trying to sell their latest book or market themselves in such a way that you rely on them, thus becoming a consumer of what they’re selling.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but for detox, I recommend taking a break from all social media until you no longer feel withdrawals. In my opinion, this is necessary in order to start connecting with yourself. Feel your feelings. Start a journal if that helps. Think about how you feel when you are alone with your own thoughts, not the thoughts of others. Write down or contemplate what brings you joy or what makes you angry. Start a gratitude journal. Some days it it will be very difficult to find anything to be grateful for. I know because I have tried this experiment myself and found myself feeling grateful just for the coffee in my mug or the fact that my cat hasn’t puked up a hairball today.

I have found that the unfollow option on Facebook helps me immensely. I no longer engage in political flame wars or spend time thinking about my high school friend’s seemingly perfect life.

If you have never lived a life without social media, you may find this difficult. If you rely on it to connect with important people, shoot your peeps an email and just give them a heads up that you’ll be reachable by email or text for a bit.

I grew up without social media and it’s helpful for me to remember that 20 years ago, I didn’t know or care about what old friends were doing. I didn’t know how many kids they had, where they lived or anything else about their lives and I was okay with that. At first, it was fun reconnecting. Now that I have more knowledge about their lives than I care to, it’s time to reel it in a notch.

If Facebook or Instagram comparisons are robbing you of your joy, take a break. It will be there when you are ready to come back.

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Posted in Uncategorized

were you seen?

Hello dear readers. I wonder if any of you participated in last week’s experiment to be seen. I did. I can tell you that since I have begun not hiding, I have felt more authentic. I don’t mean literally hiding, although that could be fun, lol. I mean not shrinking. For me, that also meant not giving a fuck about what I look like during certain times. I still wear makeup to work and usually “do” my hair, but on my days off, I’m not doing that. I can face the strangers at Target and Walmart “naked” as myself, no fancy clothes and no makeup. It’s hard here in the south to make that commitment. As a non-native southerner, I have learned that many southern women pride themselves on being put together. It’s up to each of us to decide how much of ourselves we hide behind our clothes  and our hair and our makeup. For me, it’s an experiment to allow my true physical self to be seen. It helps me. You may be different.

This week I will still be practicing being seen. I will also incorporate some other things, such as not apologizing so much.

Posted in Uncategorized

oh, hey…thanks for stopping by

Hello dear reader. Thank you for dropping by. If you are not new to my site, you may have noticed, or maybe not, that my previous posts about random topics have disappeared. I have decided to refocus this blog to reflect my quest for self-discovery. I hope you stick around. I believe that in today’s world of social media posturing, in your face “news”, constant distractions and worry about our future there lies an even greater need to rip off the masks that we all wear, discover what makes us unique and learn to embrace ourselves as the beautiful creatures we are.

I have named this blog Taking Up Space. I mean owning your space in an intentional way. Imagine looking down at yourself, your body as you walk down the hall at work or sit on your couch at home. As you look down, what do you see? If you’re anything like me, you see a woman who wants to be something else. Smaller or taller or prettier or smarter. Something that I have learned recently is that you have every right to occupy the space in the world that you need. Right now. Today. At this minute. Don’t shrink. Don’t apologize when it is not necessary. Don’t look down.

This is something I am going to practice. In my next blog, I’ll report back with the results and how I felt taking up my space.

Posted in Me, Uncategorized

Short introduction

Hmm…what to say? A lot of women like to introduce themselves by defining who they are to other people. A wife. A mother. A daughter, etc. I am all of those things and more. I am me. Cloud-lover. Cat-cuddler. Opinionated, but not in your face. Spreader of good deeds. Agnostic. Meme lover. Hopelessly stuck in the 70’s.