Posted in Uncategorized

What’s happened to customer service?

Customer service is what many companies pride themselves on. In this era of online shopping, it seems that customer service might not be what it used to be and in some ways, that is correct.

Many people like to do their own grocery shopping, but online grocery shopping by pick up or delivery is becoming more and more popular. In the past, you might recognize your cashier at the grocery store and maybe even some managers. My mother, for example, has a great relationship with a local butcher at her favorite grocery store. When you shop online; however, that face to face communication is not part of the equation. If the person at Walmart packs your order incorrectly or gives you the wrong product, you can rate them on the app. Whether or not it will get back to that particular person is anyone’s guess. A grocery delivery person made several mistakes on a recent order of mine and I did receive a credit for my next shopping experience. Now that’s rare good customer service!  Amazon used to be known for their great customer service, but even that is gone downhill lately with late deliveries, packaging incongruities (why pack a tiny book in a huge box??) and no way to reach an actual person.

I had to contact Verizon at least twice to fully cancel a line on a tablet. My husband has had several horrible customer service experiences by phone. At my workplace, we have an employee and visitor cafeteria. The employees who “work” there act like they couldn’t care less if there is a long line or if they charge you too much. They are on their cellphones at the register and while they’re working. There is no accountability at all.

Do people just not care about doing a good job? Is customer retention a thing of the past? You would think that with all of the competition out there and the choices we have as consumers, businesses would strive to do better.

 

Posted in social media

Facebook and Relationships

By now, most people have heard about how Facebook stole personal data from millions of users and sold it to Cambridge Analytica. Most people are now aware of its dark side.

Facebook and social media, in general, has another dark side that can ruin even the strongest relationships.

How often have you seen couples who have combined Facebook accounts? Many experts believe that there should be no secrets in a marriage or committed relationship and that your partner’s social media should be no different. I have never thought very highly about those cutesy couples who share Facebook accounts and always wondered if I should censor myself in case their spouse reads something I wrote that I had intended for the other party only.

Facebook has become the outlet for many to vent about most everything and it seems that no subject is off-limits. Oversharing is a thing and it can make me pretty uncomfortable at times. Today I read two posts in a row by a person who passive-aggressively threw her partner under the proverbial bus. It may not have bothered her spouse, but it bothered me immensely. Both of them are on Facebook and I wondered if perhaps the posts were hidden from the spouse. Her spouse did not refute or reply, but I can only imagine that she may have been hurt or angry. Maybe I’m projecting.

How easy is it to say something on social media that will offend a friend or acquaintance. Now imagine your spouse opening up his or her Facebook and reading a post from you complaining about you or “jokingly” putting you down.

My husband is no longer on Facebook, but I am. Even though he can’t see my posts anymore, I would never take a personal marital grievance and post it for all the world to see because it’s disrespectful.

There is also the issue of “friends.” When my husband was on Facebook, a female friend of his was “johnny on the spot” to offer him comfort, “likes,” and commiseration for whatever he said. A mutual friend of ours noticed this because it was so damn prevalent and it went on for years. This was early in our relationship and I wanted to be the first one to comment on his posts. I felt like it was my right since I was his wife. In the end, it was needless jealousy; however, the situation created some resentment.

In this modern era of sharing online, we need to be cognizant of what we say, how we say it and how it may be construed or we risk hurting the ones we love or alienating friends.

Posted in mental health

Abusive Relationships

I edit a blog for a podcaster who writes about abusive relationships. I have not listened to all of his podcasts before I began editing for him. Listening to the podcasts about all the various ways in which people fuck each other over has been quite eye opening.

A good friend of mine lives with a husband who controls the money, puts her down, turns her friends against her and generally treats her like shit. She cannot leave him because she is financially dependent on him. He gaslights her as well, which is a tactic that abusers use to try to make another person feel like they’re going crazy or begin questioning themselves.

Today I read about traumatic bonding. This is a tricky one. When you are bonded to a person, you are imprinted with the relationship from its origin. Every relationship has an origin story and it’s usually a happy one. When a codependent person is in a relationship with an abuser, the codepenent is usually the one who has gained what he or she didn’t have inside of themselves from the beginning of the relationship. When the abuser hurts the codependent, the codependent tries desperately to fix things, to return to that happy origin. It’s a vicious cycle. Usually the abuser is a narcissit, as they are drawn to codependents.

Full disclosure, I am a recovering codepenent and I have endured some of the same shit I just wrote about. It’s not necessarily a relationship killer. Sometimes it’s just a pattern that needs to be broken.

Early on in my marriage, my spouse and I vowed to help each other heal. We had both just gotten divorced and neither one was particularly amicable. In the beginning, that worked out well for both of us. As I became codependent; however, things changed until I sought counseling.

If you need relationship advice or know someone who could benefit, I highly recommend the website: loveandabuse.com.

Posted in Me, Uncategorized

Short introduction

Hmm…what to say? A lot of women like to introduce themselves by defining who they are to other people. A wife. A mother. A daughter, etc. I am all of those things and more. I am me. Cloud-lover. Cat-cuddler. Opinionated, but not in your face. Spreader of good deeds. Agnostic. Meme lover. Hopelessly stuck in the 70’s.